Last Kiss

Title: Last Kiss
Author/Artist: Samara
Rating: R
Fandom: RPF (real person fiction)
Pairing: Rini/Mellie implied
Theme: Inspired by
Prompt 7
Genre/s: Tragedy, Romance
Warnings: Character death, sadness
Words: 1,612
Summary: Sometimes fate is kind. Sometimes it is difficult. Sometimes it is playful. And sometimes it is cruel.
Disclaimer/Claimer: This was written for pleasure only. None of this is true and I make no implications toward the thoughts, emotions or sexual preferences of anyone involved in this story.
A/N: This story isn't violent, but it is a bit disturbing and very, very sad. If you are softhearted, it will either bring tears to your eyes or make you cry. Please do not read if you are easily upset.

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She intrigued me. She always had. When
I met her, I knew instantly that she would be something special. I never saw
her then. Not outside of pictures. We lived too far apart for that. But I
didn't need to see her to love her. I didn't need to touch her to hold her. I
didn't need to kiss her to taste her. Her essence surrounded me no matter where
I went. If I wanted to kiss her, all I needed to do was breathe, because I knew
that our love was in the air, and that was all that mattered. We could have
been countries, planets, galaxies apart, but as long as our hearts were linked,
nothing could separate us.

I hurt her a few times. I know I did.
But I also know she forgave me those hurts, and I did apologize for them. That
was just another aspect of her personality that made
me love her. Her capacity to forgive and to forget.
The way she always took me back when I felt that I didn't deserve her. The way she would reassure me when I told her so.

I can't really say when I fell in love
with her. It just happened. There was definitely attraction, but neither of us
could safely say when that attraction turned into love. I don't think you're
supposed to be able to pinpoint it. People who claim they know the exact moment
in time when they fell in love are spewing bullshit. Nobody knows that moment,
not even your heart. Your heart isn't concerned with time. Its only concern is
the one it loves, and if they happen to fall over weeks, months, years or a
single night, then that's what they do. But as humans, it is a defaulted fault
of our makeup to never truly realize what is there for the loving until later
or until it's shown to us by either our own ignorance or our own stupidity.

Hey you. Dumb ass.
Look down. Love's at your feet.

Ignorance and stupidity have their
places in the world, and sometimes it's to show you that without them, you
could never meet realization and enlightenment. So everything has its place.

But I am wandering off the topic at
hand. Samara. My Sammie. Samara Rini Morgan. I usually just called her Rini. Why?
Because everyone else called her Samara, and she just wasn't an
everyone else to me. She was special and deserved to be shown that by a
different name. My Rini. My
Rini-bird.

I bet you are probably wondering what
the point of this incessant rambling is, aren't you? Truth be told, there
really isn't one. It's a musing on the past and what I had before life took
that away from me. It's the only way I can grieve for her without wanting to
join her. I always thought we would die together. When we would lay
side-by-side at night after finally deciding that we loved each other enough to
spend forever together, we would always plan our lives and our deaths. We were
supposed to die at 105, hand in hand, side-by-side and with smiles on our
sleeping faces. We weren't supposed to be separated this way.

Maybe if it had been an accident or an
illness I could accept it better. But it wasn't. It wasn't anything natural.
There's nothing natural about a bullet to the heart. Even as I type this, I am
sobbing tears of infinite sadness, hurt and a rage so dark I feel it will
consume me most days.

How could she have left me? She had
ruined all our plans. Didn't she remember those late night talks? Didn't she
care anymore about those midnight promises?

And then my rage turns inward at
myself. How could I blame her death on her? She would have never left me in
that way. I knew it in the very depths of my soul. She may have been hurting at
points and life had thrown us both through the tumbler a fair few times, but
after a few good bumps and bruises and a couple nasty scrapes, we always landed
together, perhaps a little worse for wear but neither of our hearts faltering
in the love it held for the other.

And finally my anger explodes outward,
reaching with blackened tendrils of fury toward the man who had caused me such
suffering. The man who was currently rotting in a jail cell,
a much too kind fate for him. While I flounder and drown in my anguish
and outrage, he sits behind bars smugly, receiving three meals a day when I
could barely pull myself out of bed to piss, let alone eat. He had all the
water he needed to survive while my body was drying out from the countless
tears I've cried.

I didn't understand when I found out.
And I still don't. There were thousands of us in that museum. Thousands. And only one person died. My
life. How is that fair? How could the powers that be play a card of such
devastating irony? How was that funny? Only one. My one.

I must stop now. I don't think I can
write another word, and I will certainly drown myself in my tears if I don't at
least take a break and attempt to compose myself for the sake of my hydration
and the sake of my laptop which I would prefer not to drown in my misery. It
was enough for one being to suffer the fate of my agony, the depths of my
sorrow. It is completely another to subject an innocent object to a liquid it
could never understand. I would not let it die for me.

Rini had died protecting me. She'd
flung herself in front of a bullet meant for me. Somehow she had known. Had
sensed the danger I was in and forfeited her own life
to save mine. But what she didn't understand when she took her final breath in
my arms was that the moment her eyes closed forever, I died with her. Yes, my
body lives on. But my soul is no more.

I guess she did keep her promise after
all. She died with my soul in her hands.

And now it's only a matter of time. A
matter of waiting before my body weakens enough to join her.

I only wish my heart had died too.
Then maybe this wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe...Maybe without a heart, I
wouldn't need to miss her.

They tell me to remember the good
times. I do. I remember them, but focusing on them only makes me think of the
times that had still been yet to come, the ones that will never now be. They
make me think of the hilarious moment we were having fondling the marble hermaphrodite
in the sculpture gallery of the Metropolitan museum in New York City before it
happened. We had been granted a tactile tour due to Rini's sight impairment and
I had been permitted to touch the works of art as well. I only wish the last
work of art I had touched was her, before she had collapsed, broken, into my
arms.

The good times make me think of the
jokes and playful insults we were hurling at one another, and then...then the
shots. The loud boom of the devil's gong. The panicked screams of the people around us. The agonized
cry of my lover as a bullet pierced her heart. My heart.
Our hearts.

The sound of my name falling from her
lips, the feel of her limp body collapsing into my arms. The
tortured whimpers of her torment, the sobbed sound of my name as she begged me
to stop the cold, to stop the darkness and to make the pain go away.

The final words she spoke to me.
"I love you. Goodbye." The sound of her last
breath. The feeling of her body going limp in my
embrace. The last kiss I laid upon her lips when she was still able to
kiss me back, and then the final seal of mine against those who would never,
could never return it.

I could do nothing but scream for
help, hold her and sob.

But no help came.

No cure came.

No angels came.

Only death came. He came and he
claimed the one thing beside my brother I could never live without.

My Rini.

 

Oh where oh where can my Rini be,

The Lord took her away from me,

She's gone to Heaven so I've got to be
good,

So I can see my Rini when I leave this
world.

 

I will wait. And my body will die when
it is ready.

 

I lifted her head,

She looked at me and said,

"Hold me, Mellie just a little
while."

I held her close,

I kissed her our last kiss,

I found the love that I knew I would
miss.

 

I don't think I'll ever love again. Ion
says I will, but I just can't bring myself to believe him. I don't think a
heart could ever love again when there was no longer a soul left to love.

 

And now she's gone,

Even though I hold her tight,

I lost my love,

My life that
night.

 

I sing through my tears as I complete
this entry.

 

"Oh where oh where can my Rini
be?

Why did you take her away from me?

She's gone to Heaven so I've got to be
good,

So I can see my Rini when I leave this
world.

 

Please wait for me,

I will leave this world.”